A Valentine Too Late

One has to have a sense of humor about love and marriage, but my problem has always been that I do the romantic charming things during the pursuit of love but discard them during the marriage. Wives don't think that's funny. Let's take Valentine's Day for instance. I never liked it. I didn't like it when I was alone on certain years because that sucks, and then I didn't like them during marriage because...well I thought it was pointless. I mean ...you're married. How romantic is that? One year my wife made a big deal about my thoughtlessness on Valentine's Day, so I decided to compose an original poem that would sweep her off her feet. It was written, I believe, two or three years prior to our eventual divorce. I'll leave it to you to decide if it postponed or hastened our eventual parting. Enjoy.

Rose are Red, Daisies are yellow

By now you think I'm a miserable fellow

Mayonnaise is white, cheese can be cheddar

For a husband, you're thinking

"I could have done better."

How many times have I said I'm forgetful?

And for that I must say, I am very regretful.

"For better or worse" our wedding vows said.

For it to be worser you'd have to be dead.

So I'm giving this poem to make up for my dumbness,

to apologize for my sensitivity numbness.

I'm sending my love in this Mardi Gras season

to show you I care...I'm really not teasin'

Happy Valentine's Day from your husband Rick

Stop telling our friends that I'm just a...rascal.

Although I don't say it or do it enough,

I love you Nanette...if that scares you...that's tough.