On a day like today, my dad would have said "it's colder than a well-digger's butt in Montana." If my mom was out of the room he would have said,"it's colder than a witch's titty." Understood. Baby it's cold outside! It's so cold in my neighborhood, that the neighborhood dogs ( I call them the Disney Dogs) have taken to roasting a racoon nightly in my trashcan while huddled around it and singing inner-city doo wop. They're talented animals. I suppose I could open my barn and let them pay a small room and board fee, but you know, they're not my pets. It's so cold that the birds have taken to iceskating on the frozen water of my pool ala the "Peanuts" gang. I look at it this way, if they survive, it'll be something to tell their granddogs and grandbirds about. Nature takes care of it's own. I also suspect that the head dog, Bailey, is hot wiring my car at night and sleeping in the back seat...sometimes it smells like frosty dog hair in the morning and the gas gauge reads differently. I suppose one has to admire that kind of resourcefulness in a domesticated animal, however; If I find out that she is taking my car for a warm spin at night, I'll be totally pissed.
After a week like this, the Global Warmers have lost all credibility with me. On the upside, I'm not sure if my lawn will ever grow back and that's ok. I'm tired of cutting it anyway. In any case this weather is giving the continental jet stream a bad reputation. It has lost it's way and worn out its welcome down here in the South. How cold is it? Two words...snow balls...and not the good kind either. Get ready people...it's gonna be that kind of year.
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