Penn Chapel

The road to Penn Chapel ...isn't the same

...that old shack...taken by the storm

...that old winding road leads to other places now...unknown to me

...dim shadows fall across that path ...that path to nothing

...dreams once dreamed...it was a flimsy love......... a foolish heart

...held together with careful tears

...there was that longing...that wanting

...unfulfilled...a thousand yesterdays ago.

My Take On Football

It was November of 1970 when then Saints kicker Tom Dempsey hit a 63 yard field goal in Tulane Stadium. It did not mean that much to me at the time. I was not a great follower of football or of any sport back then. When other folks were glued to their TV sets and radios on Saturdays and Sundays I was conspiring to become a rock star, devoting my time to listening to my favorite bands and learning the licks of the guitar idols of the day. I am not by nature a competitive person but more to the point, I was never interested in learning player stats and franchise histories and keeping up with the constant trading of players from one team to another. I suppose I could have done both but it is my habit of concentrating on one thing at a time and music was my passion. I suppose it pained my father to watch me turn into an anti-sports fan. Let's face it, some of us were never cut out for athletics and to cheer for people who can make more money on a Sunday afternoon sitting on a bench than I make all year doesn't make sense to me. But let's talk about what does make sense to me...chasing women. To make a long story short , its how I finally got interested in Saints football. I don't know why I never got into high school football and the whole "my school's better than your school" but I didn't. I went to Slidell High and our mascot was a tiger and our crosstown rivals were the Salmen Spartans. We took great delight in perverting their name and calling them the Fish...get it, Salmen, salmon, fish? But I digress. They called us the Pussies...(do I have to explain that?) The whole thing was fun but pointless since I was dating a girl from Salmen at the time and did not hate their school for that reason. That was in 1970. My time at LSU was no different. I went to maybe half a dozen games in Tiger Stadium with a date but my only real memory of football at LSU was living in the dorm right next to the stadium and hearing the crowds at the home games from my dorm room. I also remember being chased down by campus police on one particular night when I lost my ticket for the student section.

In 1979 I met a girl that would change my attitude about sports at least as far as the Saints were concerned. Two words...season tickets. Her family let me tag a long to a Saints home game in the dome and I got hooked thereafter. The energy from the game and the fans enthusiasm

was intoxicating ( or it may have been the alcohol, not sure.) And there it was and there it began...my cycle of joy and anguish over the accomplishments of complete strangers who didn't know me from Adam. I had become a loyal fan whose happiness was now dependent on the Saints ability to post a W instead of an L. My Sunday ritual was well established...sitting two inches from the TV screen and agonizing over every play. You didn't want to be in the room when things didn't go their (my) way. It was a weekly test of my blood pressure and emotional stability. It went that way for 12 years. I still wonder how I lasted that long.

In 1991 the Saints with Bobby Hebert at the helm lost to Atlanta in a playoff game that succeeded in pushing me over the edge to the point where I resorted to a kind of self-mutilation...in total frustration I shaved off my beard. A beard I had grown and cared for since 1976 (my bicentennial beard.) The names and faces of past Saints flew by in my mind in rapid montage...owners, investors, players, coaches...god, how many had there been and how many more would there be before The Saints proved there worth? John Mecom, Tom Benson, Bum Phillips, Jim Finks, Jim Mora, Jim Hazlett, Mike Ditka (...yes Mike Ditka)...Kenny Stabler,Archie Manning, Morten Andersen, Rickey Jackson, Pat Swilling, Dalton Hilliard...on and on.

The team that you cheered for in the beginning at Tulane Stadium was an ever changing animal. The only thing that remained the same was the franchise name and to me that was like rooting for a corporation and not a specific roster of beloved players. The thing about football fans that gets me is that in the final analysis they support the idea of a constant team that is never really constant. Coaches and players switch team jerseys in the blink of an eye with no sense of loyalty to the fans who live and die by the success of "their" team ( I'm talking to you Hebert, and Manning) and yet the fans forgive them... but honestly... it made me feel like a fool.

I stopped watching football that year and even now when the Saints appear to be finally on their way to validation I will not watch them. They lost me, but they probably don't care. Bottom line...everybody needs a hero...someone to believe in. If any city ever needed one it is the city of New Orleans. And I will concede that. Bobby Hebert went from Saint to Falcon then back again to the leader of the Who Dat Nation cheering on the likes of Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, Sean Payton and some guy named Garrett Hartley. As I understand it , he is a kicker and a game saver. I wonder if he could make it from 63 yards out.

A Quantum Leap of Logic

Newswire Times-Picayune

January 21,2010

The still small voice of the so called Quantum Candidate who announced his candidacy for the White House in 2012 has received little encouragement from established political organizations. That may be due to his refusal to talk to the media and also to his insistence to bypass established political processes for qualifying for the office. His credentials are dubious since he cannot even provide the most basic documents to confirm his identity and nationality. That may trouble some, but those on the outer fringe of politics and science have what they believe is the answers to questions surrounding the man who is by some accounts claiming to be able to travel through time.

Philip Wells , a local St. Tammany businessman and admitted fan of science fiction, says he believes the presence of two individuals claiming to be R. Otis can be easily explained by a phenomenon known as a "Self Visitation Paradox." For those not versed in time travel mythology, a "Self Visitation Paradox" refers to the hypothetical existence of two "versions" of the same individual existing together in a given time frame due to one version or the other traveling through time and confronting himself. Wells, although skeptical of such an occurrence, insists that it would explain one mystery and confirm the other claim, that Otis has the ability to actually travel through time as some have surmised by his comments. Wells was quick to add that such a condition would represent a danger to the two versions of the individual. The paradox would have a tendency to attempt to resolve the time-space problem by cancelling out one of the individuals especially if they actually meet and touch one another. Otis has been silent in recent days and has not been available to deny the speculations about his identity.

Where Are All Of The Wise Men?

If you were like me several years ago you were always wondering how things would go if, for a period of time, the country was controlled by a conservative president and majority conservative congress and, at another time, a liberal president with a majority liberal congress.. We would actually get to test the tenets of conservativism and liberalism against each other and see which actually delivered positive results. Since I first had that thought we have since got our wish on that and I have to say I'm bewildered at how little gets done when either side has clear advantage over the other. In the case of Bush in 2000 he was basically starting with a clear slate. We had just finished eight years of relative peace and prosperity and Clinton had just delivered the first balanced budget with surplus in over twenty years. Bush was given the key to that "lock box" full of cash and America was hopeful that great things would get done. The problem with the Bush administration is that it was given permission by the voting public (I think) to fix what was basically not broke. Bush and his cohorts went through that money like frat boys through their daddys' trust fund and eight years later it was a matter of history that it was "an epic fail" . To be fair about this, Obama and his democratic comrades did not start with a clear slate from the previous administration as did Bush. In fact the closer it came to the end of his watch the clearer it became that greed,corruption and personal enrichment was their true face. Where did those pallets of money finally wind up? It was as if the intention of the Bush administration was to deliberately empty the government's checking account all along and leave the new administration with nothing in which to accomplish it's agenda. It dramatically re-established the distribution of wealth back to banks ,private corporations and America's wealthiest , and left the average Americans and their government with the bill and no means to pay it. I find it particularly interesting that politicians cry out for national patriotism from the masses while being lead around by their noses by American corporations who have long ago "gone global." But back to the issue at hand. Given their advantage at present the Democratic liberal agenda is strangely absent. For a year now the conservative minority has called the shots against a liberal majority,,,but how? I suppose it's the curse of liberalism to view all issues as complex things needing endless discussion and pruning to get them just right before committing to anything. It's unsettling for someone like me to admit it, but our Democratic representatives at present seem only concerned about their own personal survival in the political arena at the forsaking of the large groundbreaking and risky issues that they have championed (at least publicly) for so long. What a bunch of impotent public servants they are. Hypocritical and self serving. But all you conservatives out there shouldn't start cheering just yet. Conservative representatives excel at filibustering liberal issues but what have they actually delivered to the American public save the tax breaks for the wealthiest of the wealthy? To quote a liberal blogger, "Americans who "self-identify as conservative" rather than liberal are for the most part, low-information Americans." They claim membership in a club that doesn't really serve them.

Ask yourself this question, "what has any politician at the national level done for you except vote us into war and bankrupt the nation? Anybody? This is my question at this point, "where are all of the wise men that we elected to office?" All we really ever get is sly men...savvy officials who play the system but produce no results. In our current desperation we may mistakenly assign wisdom to people who run for office simply because they are nationally recognizable but who in reality have no clue or compulsion to drastically change the status quo. In the early formation of a political career certain ideas are engrained on the mind of the aspiring "public servant." For starters,they all read Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead" and "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. One preaches that some human beings are more important than others, and the other is effectively used as an example of a political war manual applying ancient winning war strategies to winning political strategies. Oh well I guess they have to read something. But somewhere along the way they have lost their capacity to truly serve and we as a nation have lost our ability to discern between a saviour and a conman. Do you know the difference?

Quantum CrackPot Or Messianic Mess?

NewsWire

Times-Picayune January 19th 2010

"The country, and the world, is too far gone to be fixed by traditional means. The conflicts and misery that we find ourselves in now must be undone another way." So started our phone conversation with R Otis the self-proclaimed "Quantum Candidate" who quietly voiced his intention to take the White House in 2012. "I will assume responsibility for undoing the damage and setting things right.", Otis continued. "It must be done through technology that up until now has been kept from you. It may sound trite but it just takes time...more to the point, it takes the manipulation of Time as we know it. You have asked me to explain my statement "Time Heals Time" and that is the answer."

Stunned reporters listened as R Otis apparently advocated time travel as a viable solution to the problems currently plaguing our nation. Otis, looking like a cross between Jesus and a 60's throwback hippie, claims to have the means to carry out such a plan that most rational persons would dismiss as foolish and ridiculous. "He's been watching too much Doctor Who if you asked me.", said James Walker of Mandeville. "Who wouldn't want to do that...but it's science fiction."

Kelly Newman of Covington was equally suspicious. "So is that what it comes down to...Time Travel....he's a time traveler? Is that not an absurd notion?"

Otis smiled as he was told about the comments of others who painted him as a crackpot with messianic aspirations. "I make no claim to being a messiah...that is what you say. I am proposing a solution ...the solution for saving the nation and by doing so possibly the world. It will however require more than a magical wave of a hand."

Background checks on Otis have come back with no information which will by default arouse suspicion as to who he really is. Although he lives in a residence owned by R Otis, age 56, he is no relation to the older man who has chosen to take him in. There is a resemblance that suggests that they are in some way related but that is pure speculation whereas no documentation exists to confirm that thought. Reporters pressed him on the issue of his true identity and how he proposed to qualify to run as a viable candidate without proof of birthplace and year and other such information needed. He reiterated his intention to seek the office through unconventional means basically bypassing the election process and relying on eventual nationwide public support. In the mean time Otis continues to preach his doctrine of "Time Heals Time." His new campaign material hit the internet this past weekend with the hard hitting message of a nation headed for self-inflicted destruction or National Suicide.

A New Piece To The Puzzle?

Newswire: Times-Picayune

January 15th,2010

As if the story could get any stranger, reporters travelling to the home of the so-called "Quantum Candidate" in Covington were met at the door by a different face claiming to be R Otis.

The person they saw today was an older man, estimated to be in his mid-fifties, and although he was adamant in his claim to the name, he did acknowledge that there was another Otis residing at the same address and matching the description of the newly announced candidate. "I do not speak for him. He will explain himself in due time. That is my hope."

Questions Still Loom Over Quantum Candidate

Newswire: Times-Picayune

January 14th, 2010 Speculation about self announced candidate R Otis increased today as curious citizens voiced confusion as to what Otis has in mind for the country. His introduction into a race that actually hasn't even started yet gave people reason to doubt his true intentions. Several citizens who have viewed his campaign material seem unconvinced that he is for real. Susan Taylor, an educator from St. Tammany Parish where Otis resides had this to say.

"It's hard to take someone seriously who, frankly, looks more like a wannabe rock star than a public servant. Maybe if he cleaned himself up and explained where he stands on issues."

John Hunter, a real estate agent and resident of Slidell in St. Tammany Parish shared Taylor's concern. " I knew Otis many years ago and he apparently hasn't changed much. He sports that look ...you know...I probably shouldn't say this but,... that hippie,Jesus freak look left over from the 60's. I remember that he used to hang out in those circles...the coffee shops where folk music was played and Jesus People hung out. He was always looking for answers...he was obsessed with that stuff. Heaven knows what he has in mind now. Becoming President?...Is that it? That'll be the day."

Times-Picayune reporters tracked Otis down today at his home in Covington but he had little to say. He shunned attempts to further clarify his stand on issues and would not consent to the taking of any photos. "I will appeal to the public in my own way and time. I have little use for the media as it is today. They themselves are a part of the problem." When asked about his chosen slogan of "The Quantum Candidate" he was again vague.

"What I am will eventually become obvious. I will only say this today...time heals time."

The Time Has Come To Believe Again

October Night/ 1988

It's 2:00am and I'm alone in the house tonight. The rain began about an hour ago, and now, through the window I can see the wind strengthening...the tops of the trees whipping back and forth. A fence separates the back yard from a wooded area just beyond. How far those woods go back and where they lead... I do not know, but they are filled with tall, dark, misshapened trees with limbs that cast eerie shadows that stretch even as far as the concrete patio. On the curtains the shadows move like bony fingers scratching on the bricks of the house. The sound the wind makes as it whistles through the treetops is frightening...sort of unsettling.

Now the television has gone blank except for the static...the white noise coming from the speaker. At least I think it's coming from there...the sound could be the noise that the storm is creating outside...the constant downpour of the rain. It is the kind of night when I feel isolated from reality...it is the kind of night when I hear sounds from dark corners and from the other side of closed doors. Just a moment ago I heard a shuffling...like something being dragged across the ground just outside the door that opens on to the patio and the back yard. Just now I heard someone or something scratching at the kitchen window from out in the dark. When I checked the window there was nothing there except some small clumps of dirt and mud smeared across the sill...and a kind of handprint...barely visible. Maybe it isn't a handprint... after all no one in his right mind would be out in this miserable storm...not in his right mind...not even a burglar.

Besides, whatever it might be surely knows that I am here and that the house is not empty. Maybe my imagination is running wild. If only the television would come back on...maybe this icy chill shooting down my spine would go away.

One hour has passed, and now it's starting again...the scratching at the door, but I think it's coming from the front door now. That's odd...very odd. There aren't any trees in the front yard so it couldn't be the trees...and besides...I hear the doorknob turning slowly. I would have sworn that I locked it. The white noise from the television seems to be getting louder. It's very irritating. I think I just heard the front door swinging open with that God awful creaking...like a house warning it's inhabitants of the terror that awaits on the threshold. Perhaps I should calmly walk into the front room and check to see if the wind ...but the doorknob turned...check to see if the wind has somehow blown it opened.

Now I hear it clearly and I feel the blood running out of my face and down to my feet. My name...my name...I think it was my name...spoken by something unearthly or something long dead. If only I could bolt out the back door, I would, but my legs feel numb and my heart is pounding in my chest. My body refuses to react now. If I didn't know better I would think I was going quite mad, but I know it isn't true. Wet, damp footsteps are rounding the corner to the den and I now see the nightmarish figure...pale,grey and decayed, covered in mud and moist dark earth... standing before me with dark. lifeless eyes.

Mystery Man In 2012: What Could It Mean?

Yesterday the first whispers of election 2012 gossip started with the low key announcement by enigmatic figure R Otis that he will be seeking an endorsement from, not an established political party, but the American public directly, bypassing traditional steps to the office of President of The United States of America. An interview conducted by phone revealed his overall plan to successfully take the White House. In this announcement clouded in mystery he was quick to correct any misconceptions about what his plans would be and what he ultimately stands for.

"I won't be doing anything." he insisted. "It's what I'll undo that is important."

Otis has labeled himself as the Quantum Candidate and that has raised some eyebrows in political circles already from those who fail to understand what it means. Otis himself promises to make all things clear in the coming months but in the mean time he asks that the American Public be open to a new kind of virtual candidate. "The American Political landscape is filled with the clutter of failed policies and bad decisions." says Otis. "And I have the means to make all things right. All I ask is that you Believe." More on this story as it develops.

The Time Has Come

Pundits in Perpetuity

The concept of 24 hour news has been totally corrupted by ambitious journalists and would be politicians who see the medium as a way to control and manipulate public opinion to suit their own purposes. What was the original justification for 24 hour news? Well, the world was getting complicated and people began to mistrust the government (thank you Nixon.) It was proposed as a way to keep people satisfied that nothing was happening that they didn't know about. Knowledge is power, right? But what it is now is a form of appeasement that more readily serves a system that makes money and keeps journalists employed. 24 hour news agencies scurry to develop different on air personalities that reflect the prevalent views of Americans to improve their demographics for the purpose of increasing advertising revenue. Ad revenue on cable. I remember when cable was commercial free, but apparently that was just a come on. Media is in cahoots with corporate and political America. How else can it get the inside scoop? Media beats a dead horse. It expounds and elongates issues that are inconsequential in the long run. Most important issues can be summarized in 15 minutes. It has been my experience that Jon Stewart conveys more useful information in a half hour than other "news" organizations do all day long. The rest of the chatter, for some, only serves to numb the public into a feeling of helplessness.

The media portrays itself as a watchdog for the public but it never solves anything. If it did, the system would eventually collapse but it hasn't and it won't. Media and Power sleep in the same doghouse and eat from the same bowl. Its why politicians have a hard time getting things done . Forget the promises that they made to the voters, it ultimately comes down to personal survival in a lucrative, but cutthroat environment. Its a back and forth that preserves the status quo while lulling the public into a mindless state of satisfaction and perceived power. We tell ourselves that nothing gets by us, but 24 hour news is just a soothing chant that subdues the revolutionary mind. Now, turn the TV on and go back to sleep. It's what we do.

How Cold Is It?

On a day like today, my dad would have said "it's colder than a well-digger's butt in Montana." If my mom was out of the room he would have said,"it's colder than a witch's titty." Understood. Baby it's cold outside! It's so cold in my neighborhood, that the neighborhood dogs ( I call them the Disney Dogs) have taken to roasting a racoon nightly in my trashcan while huddled around it and singing inner-city doo wop. They're talented animals. I suppose I could open my barn and let them pay a small room and board fee, but you know, they're not my pets. It's so cold that the birds have taken to iceskating on the frozen water of my pool ala the "Peanuts" gang. I look at it this way, if they survive, it'll be something to tell their granddogs and grandbirds about. Nature takes care of it's own. I also suspect that the head dog, Bailey, is hot wiring my car at night and sleeping in the back seat...sometimes it smells like frosty dog hair in the morning and the gas gauge reads differently. I suppose one has to admire that kind of resourcefulness in a domesticated animal, however; If I find out that she is taking my car for a warm spin at night, I'll be totally pissed.

After a week like this, the Global Warmers have lost all credibility with me. On the upside, I'm not sure if my lawn will ever grow back and that's ok. I'm tired of cutting it anyway. In any case this weather is giving the continental jet stream a bad reputation. It has lost it's way and worn out its welcome down here in the South. How cold is it? Two words...snow balls...and not the good kind either. Get ready people...it's gonna be that kind of year.

Remembrance / 1963

She was that simple light that danced in his eyes

That lunatic trembling, gentle brilliance

Sweet blindness in angelic flight

Soaring to the depths, ascending to the abyss

That cool burn, searing flesh and memory

Cosmic Drug consumed unaware

Love's likeness glistening on icy chrome

Men and Monsters and Sideways Rain

I was encouraged by the news at the end of the year that Karl Rove was going through a divorce and Rush Limbaugh was in the hospital near death. Could Dick Cheney's spontaneous combustion be far behind? My first thought?...maybe God does answer prayers. I'm teasing of course. We all know that God doesn't answer prayers. In fact if I didn't know better sometimes I think God enjoys bitch slapping a few of us every now and again just to get our attention. The decade just passed was that way for me but more of a kick in the head than a slap. It started with a devastating divorce and ended with an economic disaster rivaling The Great Depression. Kudos on the Karma, Yahweh. In betwixt the beginning and end were two deaths in my family within months of each other, Katrina shortly thereafter and then the slow and painful realization that my employer of 34 years was going under and belly up. In many ways the Decade of The Multiple Zero was just that for me. Adversity with a capital A and zero headway. There's a quote that I like to reference every now and then, by Victor Hugo and it says, "Adversity makes men, Prosperity makes monsters." This past decade serves as proof of that statement. Let's take the last part first...prosperity. In and of itself it is not a bad thing. It means you're doing well and living comfortably. There's nothing wrong with that unless that same prosperity becomes a means to defraud the masses and thereby designate them as acceptable casualties of what we laughingly call democracy and the free market sacred cow. As the smoke has cleared we can finally see the monsters for what they pretend to be. Ambitious, devious, amoral men who disguise themselves as honest politicians and well- meaning public servants; human demons posing as good hearted business men, Wall Street Wizkids and captains of industry...stacking the deck against the average joe. To be fair, it is a system that we all agree to, if not by clear consent certainly then by our apathy and silence. And unfortunately it is this system that feeds the monsters and allows them to grow. It gives them their power and corrupts them so completely that their wickedness becomes an awesome thing to behold. They own it with dark glee. Prosperity turned to extravagance and excess and insulated by privilege and power. Is it any wonder that in this past decade the top 1% of Americans accumulated the largest share of total income since the 1920's, and paid a much lower rate of income tax than 80 years ago. The rich got richer and the poor got poorer. And when you consider that 10 million more workers are competing for the same number of jobs now than in the year 2000 it becomes clear that the majority of us have been had. To quote an enlightened source, "power is a drug on which politicians are hooked. They buy it from the voters, using the voters' own money." Sound familiar? I strongly suspect that even the voting is rigged these days. Politicians and Capitalists ...if you say it fast enough, they almost sound respectable. If God did answer prayers, as a genie grants wishes, He would strike them down for me with impunity as an example of what Supreme righteousness will tolerate from disobedient children. But that will never happen because God does not interfere. He leaves it to us to respond and fix. Which brings me to my next point...which is me. The adversity that I personally suffered over the past decade revealed a part of my nature that had never been tested before. I would stop short of saying that my life had been previously charmed, but for the most part it was easy and fun. Few complaints. Beginning in 2000 though that suddenly changed and the one quality that I possessed that helped me through it all was my odd sense of humor and absurdity. The divorce was no picnic. I drank alone and way too much. I cried and spent many hours of each day feeling sorry for myself and searching for some kind of comfort but there was none. And then I finally woke up and got mad. Good and bad at the same time. I could tell you stories about my behavior back then that would make you laugh and then nod your head in disapproval.

Suffice it to say that certain members of local law enforcement got to know me well. It was during this period that I briefly (overnight) saw the inside of a jail cell for the first time. The officer who supervised the jail was a friend of mine and lovingly referred to his facility as Oz (like the TV show.) I later gave him a "Wizard of Oz" poster to hang in his office as a thank you gift for his hospitality. Soon after, I started my body building phase where I resolved to become a hunk.

After all, I had to get back out into the social scene again and proof to myself and everyone else that I could still hang. I'll just say this. Anger is a great motivator. I got tremendous results and positive reinforcement from those around me. I got the attention of several women...attractive women. It was a new experience for me to be approached and asked out by women who barely knew me, but it happened and it made me cocky once again. It lifted me out of my divorcee mentality and back into a more reckless attitude left over from my youthful single days. But it was short lived and I was uncomfortable with that mindset. I was, after all, a single parent raising two young boys on my own, with little assistance from their mother at the time. It actually got a little dangerous after a while too, because those who went out with me had old relationships that were still warm to the touch. Not quite over yet. I think that was the problem with all of us. We were trying to show others that no serious damage to our pride or ego had been done and that we wouldn't skip a beat between one relationship to another. To be honest I just didn't have it in me to go back to that lounge life on the weekends. It was depressing. Too much time had gone by. I wanted my life back as it had been but things got worse. I developed a hernia that needed fixing and that slowed me down even more. There were rumors at the time that I had fallen deathly ill and was in the hospital. But it was only a hernia repair. My ex laughed and told me that I had been working out too hard. Thanks for the input dear. There was a healing process that had to take place both physically and emotionally for me.

What I had recovered in self confidence was offset by my inability to trust others. I had been so completely blindsided by the betrayal.

As I healed I also made the conscious decision to once again act responsibly as an adult and father. I don't think my children , who were 11 and 8 years old, noticed much at the time. I never showed them that side of myself and I vowed silently to never give them any reason to be ashamed of me or ,for that matter, doubt my love for them. If there was any good thing that came out of the divorce, it was that I stepped up and did the hard work of rebuilding our lives.

It was that same resolve that got me, and my sons,

through the Katrina disaster as the storm ripped through our world, with it's brutal winds and sideways rain, and for awhile I felt as if I had truly been transported to Oz . We had stayed through the storm, and it was magnificent in its ability to destroy all that was familiar to us. There were no witches or munchkins, just destruction. I remember on that particular day when the three of us decided to leave town, not knowing if we would be able to find enough gas to get to a relative's house far enough away to feel like we were back to reality and normalcy. It was a frightening prospect that we might actually find ourselves stranded out in the middle of nowhere. But we did it and when we returned, I took on the awesome responsibility of cleaning up the monumental mess at home and at work. In many respects it was my finest hour as a father and a human being. It made me get up off the floor and do what had to be done.

As the decade ended I again found myself in a world unfamiliar to me. My job was gone and prospects were dismal for finding another. It was a humbling experience and one that I continue to struggle with. I get a strong sense these days that the world is changing for everyone...maybe more dramatically for some than others. But I think the day we'll come in the very near future when we will all have to examine our priorities and step up to the changes facing this country. I hope to have a say in those changes if I am able. One first has to get angry and look at what they are, and then decide what they want themselves, and the world around them, to ultimately be. This decade has provided many of us with what can best be described as the moment of truth..how things really are and what they should be. I hope I can step up.