Ted walked into the office Monday morning eager to share the good news he received over the weekend. "I'm so relieved," he exclaimed to his co-worker Frank. "My wife Linda finally got that part-time job she was looking for!" "That's great Ted," Frank responded. "What will she be doing?"
"She's a waitress at the new Tapas Bar in town. She's very excited about it."Frank had a shocked reaction. "A topless bar? That's her new job? Are you sure you want that for your wife, Ted?", he asked.
"Oh yeah," Ted replied. "I mean, you know what a people person she is and the money is great."
"But Ted," Frank asked, "what are you thinking...your wife...a waitress in a topless bar?" Ted finally understood Frank's confusion. "No Frank, not a topless bar, its a Tapas Bar!" he explained with a chuckle.
"Oh I see," Frank answered with a sigh. " Thats a relief.!" Ted laughed after clearing up the misconception. "Trust me Frank, I would never allow Linda to work at a topless bar. It would interfere with her other part-time job at the strip club." .
Okay thats the joke. Now you're asking yourself, what does it have to do with what we're talkng about. It will become apparent shortly.
What a confusing, dichotomous season Mardi Gras is! Its the time of year in New Orleans when we celebrate Carnival... a fun-loving ,seedy, uninhibited ;period of debauchery that when translated, literally means "Dance of the Flesh." Of course the depravity comes to an abrupt halt on Ash Wednesday as everybody who misbehaved yesterday seeks religious forgiveness today, in humble acknowledgement of their shenanigans from the previous three weeks. Like they say, its easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission, but technically, we do have permission of sorts. Its always struck me as somewhat hypocritical to shut down the city for Carnival right on the cusp of Christianity's high holy day. Two diametrically opposed ideals coexisting at their own peril. I suppose when one thinks about it that conflict has always existed as a condition of our shared humanity. The struggle between the flesh and the spirit. I noticed this year 2018 that Valentines Day fell on Ash Wednesday making February a trifecta of human emotions ...love,depravity and spiritual purity. How can a person confidently navigate the complexities of all that in a responsible manner? I will try... for all of us.
Lets take a look at sex and all it encompasses. How screwy is it that sexual gratification is a major motivator for human behavior. I think I can safely say it ranks an arguable number three behind access to food and water. But its not our fault apparently because, as it turns out, humans are "hard-wired" with a sex drive. Your next question of course is why, and the answer is supposed to be "to propagate the human race." but actually that stopped being the reason a long time ago In the 1976 movie "Silver Streak", Jill Clayburgh asks Gene Wilder if he's ever written any sex manuals and if he feels that he's qualified to do so. He answers coyly, "well, I know what goes where and why." Good answer but a way simplified statement about a very complex and confusing subject. In today's society there are countless and perplexing motivations for engaging in sex. In the recent movie "Downsizing" Matt Damon is asked by a woman why he slept with her in the first place and she rattles off this list of reasons why she thinks he may have, including what she called the "pity f**k." . For some the sex drive is a short trip, but for others it's a cross country excursion that wreaks of desperation, like in the John Cusack movie "The Sure Thing" Its the drive to alleviate sexual desire and maybe even find love along the way. Okay, enough with the movie references. Lets move on
That brings up another subject that complicates the mix. Love and Lust, both with capital Ls. I've brought it up before. Lust clouds the issue of what true love is, and, when you're young, its virtually impossible to discern the difference. Fast forward in time and ask yourself why half of marriages fail and I think Lust is the culprit. Adults are ,of course, able to distinguish between the two, but even in their maturity they allow the dividing line to get blurry. Love takes a backseat to lust even when they recognize it. Confusion about what you really feel and what your lust says you need. Once again, a spiritual need at war with a physical desire. Are those last two sentences even sentences? Let's continue.
Consider this for a moment without biting my head off. The Pornography Industry in the U.S. is a multi-billion dollar business for a reason. Estimates are between 8 to 13 billion dollars a year. It addresses a consumer demand. Ask yourself why professional sports is a multi-billion dollar industry. Demand is met in the marketplace. To put things in perspective even more so, the pornography industry worldwide revenues approach 97 billion a year. The Pornography industry makes more money than Major League Baseball, The N.F.L. and the NBA combined. So what is my point? Is it possible that the availability of sexual imagery, and its cathartic effects, calms the masses and, perversely, preserves traditional values such as marriage and fidelity? Is that why it is so massive?
Probably not , but it does provide the thrill without consequences. That is its service and product. But sexual content objectifies women and victimizes the young. Both valid points. Its a good thing that organized religion has stepped in and made it very clear that pornography is bad. That's what religion provides with its emphasis on family values and respectable behavior, promising an eventual heavenly reward. That's what its supposed to do and it largely does that. Bear with me though.
Many years ago I had the occasion to attend an LSU- Alabama football game in Tiger Stadium as a a guest of a friend. I'm not a huge football fan now and had even less interest back then about the outcome of the game but I did know that most of my family and relatives were fanatics for the Crimson Tide. I should explain that I was a guest of a family who were huge Tiger fans and were allowing me to enjoy the game from the LSU student section. So there I was on the LSU side shoulder to shoulder with staunch supporters of the Tigers and for some reason I failed to acknowledge the inappropriateness of verbally rooting for the Tide while sitting neck high with Tigers in the LSU student section.
Well, needless to say I learned a lesson on that chilly Saturday evening. I could try to rationalize my behavior that night but honestly, I chose to ignore the obvious moral stand that I should have taken. I was literally sitting on the wrong side of a room that identified me as having a certain mindset, but I excused myself from behaving the way I knew I should have. By now, you're asking yourself what does that have to do with anything. Its called hypocrisy in some circles, treason in others. Just everything that's all.
As I said earlier, The Church has officially taken, I believe, the correct moral stand on the issue of pornography. As a physical concrete symbol of moral purity The Church cannot realistically take any other stand. Improper and deviant sexual conduct is a real problem in our society. That is the official stand and that's the side of the room they profess to occupy. It speaks to the power of human sexual desire and its many diverse forms. However, according to statistics, use of pornography is "the sin of choice" within The Church in general. A former minister, pornography user and eventual counselor on the topic calls it "the dark magic."In essence he is saying that the human sex drive is God's dark magic. Could I have misunderstood that statement? Don't forget that we are "hard-wired" for sexual gratification as a species. It's God's doing (we believe), and as human beings we are left with the task of reigning it in and using it responsibly. I liken the whole thing to creating a toaster and then forbidding it to hang out with bread. I am particularly baffled with the whole idea of why God would intelligently design humans with an urge that so often destroys their lives and the lives of those around them. It is the one thing that has plagued humanity from the beginning. From what I remember from the Old Testament even God's angels wrestled with sexual desire and begetting was a major activity linking the Old Testament to the New Testament. The definition of begetting is not merely the act of sexual reproduction. It carries with it a historical causal domino effect. Sex is the seed by which sin is passed down through the ages. Sin being, ( and this is my own interpretation.), that which results in human pain and suffering.
"The Devil made me do it." Isn't that what Flip Wilson used to say about prurient behavior?
Why Satan though? Isn't it just testosterone? Maybe God and Satan are just convenient fall guys for explaining what we don't understand about the human mind. Why it does what it does and why it needs what it needs. By conventional thinking, God in His wisdom has combined this damning mechanism of sexual desire, testosterone, with the regulation of other essential bodily functions. Its a design flaw of the highest order. So how does one placate the libido?
Eliminating the human libido would be an awesome task, not awesome as in wonderful, but as in
"a tremendously protracted process involving generations of consenting participants dedicated to profoundly changing what it is to live in human society." Consider what it would mean to live in a world without the distraction of sexual desire. Notice I did not say without Love. Love is experienced free from the trappings of lust by virtue of proximity, shared values and shared experiences, as are other emotions separate from the libido. Sexual desire identified as a destructive part of our human makeup would not exist, and along with it the irrational behavior it inspires such as infidelity, sexual discrimination based on sexual identity and enterprises committed to sexual exploitation of humans. The term recreational sex would be meaningless. Sex as a group activity would be an absurdity. Overpopulation, unwanted pregnancy... gone. I know, that's not a sentence. The pornography industry would collapse ( go limp, if you will) , human trafficking and , prostitution would all be a distant memory.
Sadly, this bold step would not solve all of our social ills. Life and Death, love and hate, happiness and despair would still coexist. And furthermore because of that knowledge humanity would soundly reject such a proposal. I think we have to blame the engineer of our human behavior God himself for our predicament. Sex provides too much pleasure, too much even if it is often at the expense of those around us. If only we could safely squelch the production of testosterone in humans. Its the culprit, Libido by another name. It is the serpent in our Eden. Unfortunately, testosterone is an essential element of biological regulation. Our bodies need it for a bunch of other stuff. That's the Catch 22. Hmm, would that be yet another movie reference or a literary one? I'll say both. Nothing else seems to permanently kill the urge for the long term, and people have tried. Would you believe corn flakes, saltpeter and licorice were once considered "cures" for the human libido? Nowadays the closest thing we have to a cure is chemical castration using a substance called GnRH agonist mostly reserved for sex offenders. The fact of the matter is that if one day we do discover a way to eradicate the human sex drive with all of its negative fallout, I suspect there will be a mad dash to the back of the line. Its the way we are. Cost versus benefit.
Would humanity's spiritual enlightenment increase in the absence of this Satanic carnal influence? That is the big question, and I think the answer is yes.
I was watching a TV show recently that used the analogy of two dogs fighting for dominance inside the human psyche, one good and one bad. Upon hearing the analogy, another person asks which one eventually wins. The response was, "the one you feed." It brings up another question though that begs for an answer. What if there was only one dog... the good one?
I promised to explain the significance of my opening joke before I shut this down and all I can say is this. Sexual desire may actually be the root of all evil, but the love of money runs a close second. It's a cost versus benefit comparison between the two. The illusion of sexual intimacy is marginalized and traded for money every day in this world. According to Rudyard Kipling its the oldest profession. The pursuit of both test the limits of our humanity, but that is a subject for another day.
Meanwhile, last Saturday on the streets of The French Quarter in New Orleans, the 10th Annual World Naked Bike Ride pedaled down the streets of New Orleans' French Quarter under the guise of promoting Bicycle Safety. Hmm, bike safety? If you say so.
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